Lost in his visible realm.

Within her eyes by Imani J W.

Loyalty won't get you everywhere, but it can get you places. I am feeling low but, not for long. People are people and with that, they don't always see the things you do for them and how easy you made it for them. When individuals learn the effort you put forth, they will become appreciative; even if they never say they do. Don't look for approval, approve it yourself. Don't ever expect things from others. if you have a goal .. reach it, touch it, taste it, and if you can't, pray for it, and fight harder for it. I've never been so low and feel so close to god before. Creator .. creator .. what is in store for me? Creator, Creator, why did it take me so long to learn this lesson ?

I continuously had to be beat with a stick. whacked with a door, talked to with the strongest energy. Nearly go insane and come back again just to do the same thing. Every time we argue its like clash of the titans , its like thunderstorm meets tornado. Hurricane meets earthquake. Its never good for our sake or the children's I wanted to be the Queen you saw me as, I wanted you to be the King I knew you could be. But you just didn't want to put in the work and i just didn't feel like working hard anymore. You wanted to be praised for what you were suppose to do. you wanted to be given and ego stroke for doing the bare bone minimum and I choose not to. I loved you, I wanted the best for my kids and you. I wanted you to be a better man, I wanted you to be a better father. I needed you to be my leader not the other way around. I needed a shoulder to cry on but i couldn't express myself. If i did i was just nagging bitching and complaining about the little things. The funny part is if they were so little ? why couldn't we just get through them ?

But who am I to ask for the near thing I couldn't respect in the end. We hurt each other over and over again but I'll take the blame, I made you feel worse. Now communication isn't there, you need someone to pick you up and have your back.. I thought I was doing that, but i guess not. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to leave wit out breaking up shit. How i wanted to run away in the breeze and never feel again. Without feeling Lower than the floor, soil and roots of the tree. I am on E and only my creator can restore me. How did I allow you to take so much energy from me. How did i allow you to make me so angry. How did i allow you back in my heart. Creator creator.. help me with this part.
help me heal and be healthy, help me grow and understand. I don't have to be hard I don't have to fail. I can succeed in life if I put my mind to it. I wished he could be what he was not, and that's the place that I stop.