Pain

You are it the definition and the effliction
you are it the efforts and the lack of sleep

Pain that  rains out my eye and streams down my face
hurt that nevver seems to heal because you wont let it

unforgiving and unthoughtful the same just to say you have a piece in this game
your heart sits cool on this summers day and you brain quickly melting in the sun

you can not emerge your self from this pit  no matter how deep
you cant begg your way our of this one no matter you plead

you cant solve this problem with money or a math equation
you can only get the lesson as it comes

you look for love outside your self because you cant find it wit in
you hide who you are with hats, clothes ciggarates and even alcohol and herbs 3

you say i am the problem and not you
but you never say we together are the problem

I stay awake late at night to find myself back up because you upset
I stay awake nereve listening to you but always providing for you

I stay awake yelling screaming kicking fight punching  abusing you
I stay awake verbaly physicaly and emotionally fighting against you

As if you were muhammad  and i was black jack waiting for the 13th round
I wanted to give up so many times but i said no you give up this time.


Now as i sit here with one eye wide and one sliced
I imagine a victory only to be called

a kid and person who has to get their way and control everything

Only to be called
  a quiter a loser and a dirty hore  and a liar

only to be called
a sore winner and a spoiled brat  and some one who can't win honestly


My friend if i played honestly ther would be no game to play
there would be no lines to cross
and ther would be no war won or lost

there would be peace between the rooms of the house
and full understanding

but i do not see small growth or change so i am the barbarian that is taken as prisioner

I am the jewel that is stolen from  its hiding place and put on a strange womans ring

I am the one always being given away tossed up and  sold.

But i will be sold no more and be held no ones captive,

I ave the key to roam about the sea with one map and destination 

I will be free
 with you as my caption or eye as my own

happy valentines day

i didnt realize how much i put you off.
how much you gave me the opportunity to do right
but i chose not to.
You gave me the will power to for give but i chose not to.
i can not explain how much I need you.
i wish we could just start all over again.
i will for get if you will
and hopefully in due time i can communicate with you like a best friend

i just miss the days we actually were in the same time and space
i miss the loving moments especially the smile on your face
i can not recall what you look like even with this picture to fill the void
im sorry i left you and i hope we can get to know each other again

I love you and miss you happy birthday on this sweet valentines day.

old poetry

this is a video of me last year inspired by my father who is locked up behind bars.

I wanted to breathe and release the tension that i had absorbed so long ago.  I am a poet, I am an artist I am Imani.

abuse

i never realized i myself was being abused
I just though it was love and i was amused
But i  am suffering from a lack of passion
and missing  the image statement of fashion

I feel empty when i am full
and when the room is full I feel alone
My best friend doesn't know the story
and probably doesn't care to carry
carry a conversation
when it is me that needs the fixing

I am always a friend to others
but who is a friend to me
I need the people I love in my life
and i refuse to see love to tight

tight around my arms hurt around my shoulders
un able to breathe because i am having a panic attack
thats not love
i can't explain my emotions in words but im trying
trying to save myself with words from abuse of the unheard
 he yelled repeatedly and i yelled back he was ready to let me go
and know i know that im tsick of the pain screaming and yelling
I want more for myself so now i as you please let me out of this thing called abuse
because i dont want to be amused and im sick of being confused

its not love itis hate
and i refuse another date
you were nice in the beginning
only to fall short in the end

notitle

 I appreciate you copying a poem from a website that makes your thoughts come to life.
I just wanted to here your thoughts your voice not the voice of some one else.
  I appreciate the thought of poetry from another person but i never wanted that to be an issue.
 i love you and appreciate what you do for me.
 i  have heard your heart and feel that we should start
a new beginning instead
from the lips of imani whitaker
further than far
i know exactly who you are.
it is unfair to see your love one down
expecially when you want to see them up.
i love when you where living and here
and now it seems you are never around
 You call and you write me and that's what I asked
But i need more is it too much to ask
you did it before and now there is no more
I wanted what you have given me from the start
never have i had to cry silently to myself about the disappointment
in  myself and in you
but what about the innocent that is in your shoes
I can't believe i have fallen so low
not to have the will power to get up out of my cycle.
i love you and i care beyond the moon.
But time will tell..I hope soon

i want to have faith that we will work.
but the stress just keeps building and building.
I need fresh are and i don't me there
not here  not any where
I need a new begining and if you want you can join
but i want the life i asked for
The joy the laughter the tears not the pain
Happiness doesn't last for ever, but joy does.

Im tired  i tired of the unessesary arguments